Dearest Children,
I had to take a moment to write to you. Do you know how much I love you? I can't wait until you are older and we can talk about deeply spiritual things and the musing of my life. I want to share with you my belief in Christ and my love for Him. I want to share so much with you but your understanding for now is limited. Thus, I can write to you now in the moment, but you can wait until you are ready to receive.
I had a wonderful weekend. I left you with your dad and went to a conference called Time Out for Women. I know, I know. How could it be wonderful without you?!? However much I love you I still need time away from you. This doesn't make me a bad mom, but a real one. I needed to step away from everything because I was getting horribly negative. I'm not negative by nature. I feel I'm pretty positive and happy most days. However this year I can't say that the majority of my days were positive. After dealing with Post Partum Depression and a horrible cyst surgery with every complication, I felt a little bruised and broken. Some of that was the situation of the time and some of it was my own attitude. I became the worse kind of Debbie Downer. I assumed that the universe or God or SOMETHING owed me big for all my difficulties. I was being silly. I didn't realize how bitter I was becoming simply because I wouldn't allow myself to see it. I didn't know that I was slowly destroying myself.
Do you want to know how this change in my heart happened? I went to the temple of the Lord and HE changed my heart. I have never been to the temple before where I got so clear answers. The Lord assured me of His love, of us (our family) being blessed and that He wants me to know that I know He will always be there for me. The church is designed to always have us be there for each other. I hope you take full advantage of all the gospel has to offer. Especially the temples.
Nora, you are so funny right now. We are potty training you and I keep telling people that my little girl is more house broken than potty trained. However, you are AMAZING! You go to the potty, wipe, flush and wash hands without help. You totally get this potty training process. If only I can get you to stop pooping outside with the dog. :) You were so sweet when I came home from my conference. You just held me so tight and didn't want me to let you go. I could see in your eyes how happy you were to see your mother. And I was so happy to hold you again, my precious little one.
Annalise, you are doing some AMAZING things as well. You started to crawl on the October 16th and ever since then we can't seem to stop you. You started to crawl after a visit from your cousin Jaela. She came down with Aunt Geneva for a weekend and during that time you watched her getting whatever toy she wanted. The next day you were off and a few days later you turned 9 months. Which also happened to be your day's 30th birthday. You crawled for a week, started pulling yourself up the follow and now you are cruising around the couches. I was getting concerned that you wouldn't crawl because seem to have no interest in it. But you watched and waited. Then the time was right and you crawled, pulled up and cruised in a matter of weeks. It's funny because that's what your dad does. He researches and plans and then BOOM does it all in one motion. That's why we bought a house the same month we got married. You seem a lot happier now that you are able to move to whatever pleases you. I thought I would be more worried once you started moving but actually it was Nora that would get upset. Because now you can get the toys she wants to play with too. However, the two of you love each other. I love how Nora hugs you and how you always look around until you see Nora. The two of you have a very special love for each other.
Love to You Always,
Your Mother
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